Throughout elementary school I grew up being the only black girl in my grade so i grew up mostly around whites. it was when i got to middle school that i was introduced to so many different ethnicities, people, and of course people of my own race. I thought i would get along with the other black girls just fine, but based on first impressions the began to judge. They saw they way i dressed and spoke and immediately started to hate on me. At first i wasn’t really sure why until i got called an “oreo”. I knew what this meant at the time and was shocked to be called one. When i got to 8th grade people would always ask me why i acted “white” and thats when i started sticking up for my self. I had enough. I thought to myself, why do people expect you to act according to your race? How are you supposed to act a certain color? I don’t even let that get to me anymore though, but it just makes me so angry sometimes how our society thinks you should act a certain way based on your skin color. I know im not the only brown girl out there who had or is dealing with this issue out there. But all you got do is keep your head up and love the skin your in (:
I can relate ! :) thank you so much for submitting beautiful!
Me and my sister (maybe not by blood but certainly in spirit!) at the African Women’s Dinner Dance, Sydney Australia :)
awww omg!!! this is such a beautiful pic! thanks for submitting, love :) x
It definitely angered me and I wanted to tell her off- I mean, who did she think she was? I was persuaded against it ,though and moved on. But as I remember it now , it made me think of how maybe some white people may see black beauty as “secondary” optional or even out of the question while we have grown up and been taught the standards of white beauty even subconsciously.
I wonder what about me didn’t she think was attractive?
I had a really interesting discussion about identity, self hate, cultural capital etc with my BFF today and it got me thinking of Margaret Bowland’s selection of paintings of young black girls in white face. When asked to comment on ‘Kenyetta and Brianna’ Bowland that ‘It is a commentary on how women still have to jump through all these hoops to be desirable. These girls are still visible beneath all those layers of crap … they’re still looking back at you.’ I think that a lot of black girls looking at Bowland’s paintings would say that the metaphor transcends beyond the art world. For many black girls Bowland’s paintings are a life metaphor - reflecting a reality where black girls are often marginalised by European standards of beauty. I agree with Cherise Kramarae when she states that ‘For women of color who are viewers, trying to achieve idealised femininity entails not only adjusting or refining one’s body, but also rejecting one’s identity and certain characteristics altogether. To resist this artificial standard is to stand apart from beauty as defined by society’. The frustrating thing for me is that even if you put the fact that there is very little aesthetic diversity across all media platforms to the side, in the black community we impose European standards of beauty on each other with a vengeance. It’s black men that make fun of Alek Wek and it’s black girls arguing about natural hair v relaxer/weave war (e.g ‘These little nappy headed hoes need a terminator’ - Nicki Minaj) etc. It’s this infighting that is the real tragedy.
I’ve heard the phrase go from “for a dark skinned girl” to “black girl” in general & wonder if people even say that. Because I can’t imagine a black guy saying that. It’s even more ridiculous than the first phrase!