Wednesday Wisdom: Viola Davis On Low Self Esteem + Appreciating Life|Oprah’s Oscar Special
I came across this segment of Oprah’s Oscar Special featuring Viola Davis on Tumblr and am extremely glad I did. I connected with and felt moved by everything Viola had to say- she is just so beautifully genuine. Viola once struggled with low self esteem-such that anyone at any point could come into her life and take away what confidence she had. I’m sure alot of young women can relate- whether you have gone through it in the past or are still trying to gain your confidence .Through the passing of her father, Viola realized how short life is -that one should appreciate every moment they have. The reality of losing her father changed her whole point of view. Viola shared some very essential lessons that she’s learned through her experiences. I could especially relate to these revelations and this very raw interview brought me to tears. This wonderful woman is definitely on my list of people to meet-so inspiring.
Here they are:
You don’t have time to stay up all night worrying about what someone who doesn’t love you has to say about you.
You serve such a great purpose in this world to the people who do love you and in whose life you make a difference!
Stop devaluing the people in your life who care for you while worrying about those who don’t!
Just like India Arie says in her song “Little Things” (video here), The little things are really what matters most. Notice & appreciate what you do have.
A lesson you will have to learn again and again: to see yourself with your own eyes, to love yourself from your own heart. -Oprah
What’s in front of you is a whole world of experiences beyond your imagination. Put yourself, and your growth and development, first.- Phylicia
When I was asking the supporters of the blog for any questions they might like me to answer in a video, I got a really great one from an awesome girl named Abby (http://bunandcheese.tumblr.com/):”If you could give your 14 year old self any advice or wise words, what would you say?” I’m going to write a letter to my 14-15 year old self now. I’ll address her as “beautiful brown skinned girl” just like Oprah did in hers because now I really believe that’s who I was and am now.
Dear beautiful brown-skinned girl,
I know you may feel awkward and out of place, but you won’t always feel this way. This is far from the beginning. You have so much growing to do and so far to go. I know you’re scared of getting older but it’s not that bad, you still look pretty much the same! lol. Oh! And go natural!! Giiirrl I know this may seem like a crazy request but you have beautiful hair! Those “beady beads ” are curls!! Having straight, long hair does not make you any more or less beautiful. And try your best to go meet Michael, He dies in 2009 :( Don’t sweat the small stuff. Stop worrying and everything will be fine. Know that you are beautiful and don’t be so darn flattered when a boy tells you. He is just a boy, they come and go.(And you are so very young, they will go!) Boys are the VERY LAST THING you should be worried about! Sounds cliche, but listen to me! You are the one that will be with you always, make sure you love yourself. You have such great ideas, dreams & ambitions. Fall in love with those & follow through- they won’t disappoint. You will think you’re in love and cry puppy dog tears over what’s really puppy love but brush your shoulders off and keep it moving! Get to know yourself better and more quickly so you can realize how beautiful, talented, creative, intuitive, inventive, kindhearted and strong you are. You are a very intense and passionate girl; Only dedicate your time and energy to people and things deserving of it. Choose your battles & struggles. You will have a lot of “end of the world” moments but be sure to let things go. LIFE GOES ON & things get better. Also, be easy on your mom and dad. It may seem like they are against you and don’t want you to be happy and they are too strict-blah blah blah! Grow up silly girl! They love you sooo much and do everything for you. Cut them some slack- believe me Mom does know best-you’ll see. She is really ALWAYS right! Dad is very wise. “Strict”, but wise. He only wants you to listen to what he has to say and do alot less talking- there will be plenty of time for your voice to be heard. You just have to do a little learning and maturing first before you can earn your platform. Don’t be so afraid to admit when you’re wrong or have made a mistake. Nobody is perfect,keep your head up & don’t beat yourself up about it.Let go of trying to be in control of everything. Let go of fear, you don’t want to live in regret. Let go of pride, some things are more important. Karyn, you don’t have to prove yourself to ANYONE! - stop looking so much for looking for approval from others. They are just as unsure and confused as you are. No one is “better” or “less than” you.Stop comparing yourself to others-YOU ARE ENOUGH. It may seem like this letter is a little all over the place, but you know me :). Just BREATHE & BE! Look into the mirror & say “I LOVE ME”. Even if you don’t right now, you will for sure one day soon. Also I finally scored you a legit nickname! You can thank me later ;)
“This post was inspired by a couple of young ladies letting me know that they are struggling with some insecurities. As a result they are feeling down, and hopeless. It is really saddening to hear things like this because you want to help make someones pain go away but you don’t know how or where to start. So, here is my start!-To all the young ladies who may be struggling with self-confidence or any issues in their lives, I want you to know this:
You are NOT alone. Every time I read, hear or say these words, I think of Michael Jackson’s song by the same title. When I was younger, “You Are Not Alone” was my comfort song and listening to it when I was sad would make me feel a whole lot better. In the song, Michael is saying to his loved one, that no matter how far apart they are, he is still with them, thinking of them and loving them. Aside from the words “You are not alone” being one of MJ’s song titles the sentence has a much deeper, universal meaning: Everyone goes through something, everyone has a story, everyone has pain…” click here for full post.
Wednesday Wisdom: Preserve Your Body & Self Esteem, Nurture Your Soul
The “No Commitment, No Cutty Campaign”! I came across this video by Shanti and Antoinette- the two awesome founders of ACurlsBF.com(soon to be AroundTheWayCurls), a natural hair site encouraging women to embrace their curls.
In this video, S & A are calling for women to abstain from engaging in casual sex, advising them to wait until they are in a fully committed, loving relationship. Not too much to ask, right? Of course not ! But, in this day and age sex is advertised in the media in such a glamorous way, especially to young people…read the rest of this post here on forbrowngirls.com